I miss writing.

Now, don't get me wrong. I write all the time. I tap away at my laptop for hours every day. I compose articles in my head. I have a file on my phone for story ideas.

But I miss writing for ME.

I want to write something that doesn't have to be politically correct. Something that isn't gutted by an over sensitive client. Something that I don't spend an extra hour culling to 500 words.

I just want to write.

Let this be a challenge to you...

So.  Princess Pumpernickel's class started spelling words this week, right?  She comes home Monday with a list of ten words...and they're a bit challenging.  I'm actually impressed by this, as my kid is the epitome of "If it's too easy, I'll get bored and ignore it."  Now, she also brought home a spelling study guide.

This guide say "Oh, they're also tested on these four high frequency words."  Oh...okay, cool.

"And these eleven ten phonetic words."  Umm...okay. (Teacher typed one word twice.)

"And these two vocabulary words."  Wait...that's TWENTY SIX words for a seven year old.  Are you serious?!?

Spelling homework (pre-test, discussing words, writing the ones she missed three times) took over an hour!  I was shocked, but thought that I'd prefer it be a challenge instead of a coast job, right?

Wednesday, Princess P comes home and informs me that, in class, they're only studying the ten words on the original list.  So, I email the teacher.  She responds and says "I'm sorry if that was confusing for you. (Ohhh, so it's MY fault.  Gotcha.)  Yeah, just the words on the list.  The other was just an example."  An example?  Of what?  In no place does it say "EXAMPLE", nor was it mentioned in the weekly class newsletter. Math test Thursday, Spelling test Friday, that's it.

So, wanting to clarify, I send back "So these are the words she'll be tested on-1. Blah, 2.Bleh, etc"  Her teacher sends back the following:

"YES"

Well, I apologize for wanting to be clear what my daughter is actually supposed to be studying and wanting her to get good grades and succeed and stuff, Mrs. Prissy Pants. If anything, I'd think you'd be happy, and take this as a sign I am not, in fact, a Bad Parent like you seem to think I am.

Okay...so now it's Thursday...we JUSTNOW know what words we have to work on fully, and the test is tomorrow.  It's extra awesome to hear that they didn't take a math test on Thursday, so I'm starting to question this teacher all around now. Princess P had three words that were giving her fits, but after Gitmo like drilling, I sent her off in this morning with both fingers firmly crossed.

If there are more than ten words on that test, I'm going to beat Mrs. Prissy Pants with a dictionary.

Why some animals eat their young....

I have a confession.

We did nothing this summer.

Nothing.

Princess Pumpernickel went swimming twice, both times w/ other people.  We didn't take a vacation, haven't made it to the amusement park, and barely left the house.  It was just Too Hot. Suddenly, school was back in session and I felt terrible.

So, last week, while the Princess was hold court over the playground, I started looking at our options.  I discovered a few fun, and free/cheap things to do for the next few weekends, and decreed we would make up for our bummer summer.

Saturday was a Family Fun Day at the sprawling, overpriced altar to capitalism across from The World's Most Expensive Concert Venue, aka the Sprint Center.  (Turns out "If you build it, they will come" isn't the best city planning outlook.)  We'd been to one of these last year, and had a good time, so I thought "Why not?"  The theme was Bubbles..and who couldn't use more bubbles, amiright?

We took the bus downtown to save gas/parking money/the environment, and I brought along Harry Potter to read to keep us occupied.  (Yes, middle-aged bus riders, I saw you listening along.)  We arrive, and didn't have a lot of time left, so we wandered to work out a system of triage for the activities.  And that's when things got hairy....

More and more, society seems filled with rude little children who have no concept of anything/one but themselves.  They cut in line, they shove, they don't share, and MY child...having been raised with manners, gets the short end of the stick.  And to make matters worse, while I'm wondering aloud where their parents are, and reminding myself mentally that the law frowns on spanking other people's children even when they would benefit from it, the errant parent appears....and is just as bad as the kid.

While I might be above yelling at your child for cutting in front of my kid in line, I am NOT above saying something when you shove them forward loudly proclaiming there's no one else in line, while looking at me out of the corner of your eye.  As evidenced when I told a mother "You do realize simply stating it so doesn't make it the case?"

"Oh, I didn't see you there..." was her stammering reply.  I shot back that perhaps that's because she was more concerned with her kids being FIRST!!!!! than making sure everyone got a fair chance to play.  I managed to bite back my smile when the person running the game had to physically remove her son when his turn was over, as he kicked and screamed "But I'm not done yet!!!!"

We wandered and wove through the crowds constantly, always trying to get away from That Family, and always finding one just as bad, or worse at the next activity.  While I was ready to snap (actually texting a friend of mine who is a bail bondsman to find out how much I might need if I did), Princess P reacted in a slightly different way.

She was good as gold.  Seriously, the best I've ever seen her.  She'd do an activity once, quickly, and pass it to someone else.  She listened to the people in charge, she waited patiently in line, and she was just an angel in general.  I've never been more proud of her.

Eventually, I took my lesson from her and calmed down, reasoning that as long as she was having fun, that's what mattered.

Next time though, I'm bringing a stun gun.

Annnnd SCENE!

Well, the first week is officially complete.

I have to mention, there was some panic last night when Princess P said she didn't want to go to school today.  I informed her it was a little early to be sick of school already, and she was in for a loooong year with that attitude, missy.  Luckily, she clarified her statement with "But I'm not LEARNING anything...this is all stuff we did in kindergarten.  I don't have to spend the next ten years learning the same stuff again, do I?!?"

I advised her to have faith, and reminded her she had one day before a nice weekend, and she decided she could probably make it through.  What a trooper she is.

When I picked her up tonight, she fairly collapsed and said "Man, am I glad the weekend is finally here.  I really need a break from all this..."  Poor thing suffers so.

Of course, it was extra awesome when we realized an hour later that she'd left her glasses on her desk.  After the resulting argument-("How could you be so irresponsible?"  "But I don't really need them!" "Yes, you do, the doctor said!" "But I don't think" etc) I call the school and learn that the custodial staff can let us in to get them.  Princess P said later she was actually glad she left them, since it was neat seeing the school after hours.  That child could find the silver lining of a nuclear cloud, I swear.

We celebrated the end of the first week by picking up some Indian food, and dining al fresco on the back deck, while discussing our days.  It seems there's a new, cute student in her class, so she had much to share. I didn't realize that scrutinizing every thing a male says/does started this early, but apparently....  Speaking of, did you know if he asks to borrow your pencil sharpener, when there's a perfectly good one on the teacher's desk, it must be love?  While I'm baffled at my daughter's boy-crazy nature, at least it gives me some bargaining power.

"You don't want to go to school today?  But whose pencil sharpener will Drew use now? "

Parenting by Darwinism

We happen to live a block and a half from Princess P's school. Since we're under a mile, transportation is my responsibility.  Okay, awesome.   Now, the street we live on, and the school is on, is one of the busiest in Kansas City.  As great as the kiddo did in her self defense class last year, there's no way I'm letting her walk all the way home.

That said, I also don't want her thinking that we HAVE to take the car everywhere (and I don't wanna mess with the lemmings picking up their kids every day.)  BUT...I also want to teach her some independence and stuff, right?

So...Princess P walks to the corner her school is on.  The crossing guard helps her across the street, where I meet her.  It's a perfect compromise.

And it makes her teacher lose her freaking mind.

Now, I understand that the first day, when she wasn't sure what the plan was, she might be a little concerned.  Only a crazy person would let a seven-year-old walk home on a street this busy.  But, every day this week, her teacher has felt the need to walk her to the corner....while telling Princess things like "You're just so little, I want you to be safe.  You shouldn't walk alone."

Let me clarify.  Princess P is NEVER out of sight of an adult.  The school has teachers and guards posted all over, she doesn't leave school property until she crosses the street WITH the crossing guard, where I am waiting on the other side. She is PERFECTLY safe.  I even posted on Facebook to get other opinions, and a friend who works for Family Services says "Yeah, she's fine."

The part that really bugs me?  The constant implication that I am a Bad Parent.  Now, it wasn't until today that Princess P picked up on it, though I've been silently seething about it all week.  Telling my kid that YOU are keeping her safe implies her mother is not.  Saying she shouldn't walk implies her mother doesn't know what she's doing.  And telling her she's "too little"?  Not the kind of encouraging and empowering outlook I take with my kid.

I reassured Princess P that she was perfectly safe, and that I would never put her in danger, which she said she knew.  I politely suggested that her teacher didn't know her like I did, but would learn that she's a very independent kid.  We had a nice chat about what was appropriate for her age, and what age she'd have to be for other things. ("When CAN I walk alone?"  We'll talk about it when you're in fifth grade.  "When can I date?" When I'm dead.)  I felt rather good about our dialogue.  And then she busted out some logic worthy of a fourteen-year-old girl.

"If I had a cell phone, you'd always know I was safe!"

Well played, Princess....well played.

Two down, eleven to go...

So, I'm officially the mother of a second-grader.

Princess Pumpernickel started school today, looking very fetching in her new dress, sparkly shoes, and pink framed glasses.  She was the image of studious, lemme tell ya.  Very impressive...save for the syrup on her dress.  I was aghast at first, first impressions and all, then realized syrup stains were probably a more honest one. :)

Last night was Back-to-School night, so we got to check out the school and meet the teacher (and drop off the supplies-the most important part to me.)  We'd scaresly entered when I saw the mom of Princess P's kindergarten best friend.  They'd disappeared last year, due to the move to this school, it happened.

ANNNNND, not only is Lolly going to her school, they're in the same class...and their desks are dangerously close.  Princess P reported after school they were already separated in the line today.  Considering they'll be in several clubs and activities together too, I'd put money on receiving notes home in no time. :)

Here come the gray hairs...